Monday, July 31, 2006

Am I Crazy?

Northwoods Rubber Stamp
Originally uploaded by Buckeye.
What was I thinking??? Since August of 2005 I have had in my mind that my 2006 Christmas cards would be of this image, with the ornaments being watercolored with Tombow Markers, and a few of the ornaments being raised with a popdot to show dimension. Aaaaah! Oh what fun this will be.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Me and My Big Bubbles

Close Up of ATC
Originally uploaded by Buckeye.
Finished my 7 ATCs for the "Me and My Big Ideas" swap on PCMB. They were so fun, because the only stamp I used was the stamp of the kid in the tub. Tile and towel were drawn by me. Did lots of experimenting with the colorwheel, which pretty much is a confusing palette to me. Anyway, I felt like an interior designer on HGTV. LOL.

The highlights of these ATCs are definitely the bubbles...made by heating with a heat gun some drops of Tulip White Puffy Fabric Paint. Perfect touch, if I say so myself.

Visit my Flickr stream to see all seven ATCs.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Stamping and Football Together

It is a great thing when my two passions (Football and Stamping) meet.

When I originally signed up the the California ATC swap on PCMB, I thought I would do some sea otter ATCs. But then I looked at the hoard of rose stamps I have and decided that I could certainly make some Rose Bowl ATCs since the game is held in Pasadena, CA.

As I made them, I couldn't help but think back to the memory I have of the Rose Bowl. 1997. Joe Germaine to David Boston for the winning touchdown. It was just awesome. That was the first bowl game I ever attended, and it was special to see the Buckeye's curse of not being able to win the big game lifted.

If I am ever at the Rose Bowl again (which I better be!), I definitely want to participate in the last minute float preparations. The Rose Parade was just goregous! I wasn't too keen on going initially because we had to get up at 3:00 am to get on the bus to go, but wow, was it worth the $50. I no longer watch the parade on TV, because it just doesn't do it justice. You know, you can actually smell the floats as they go by. Such an awesome experience.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Teddy Bear ATC

Teddy Bear ATC
Originally uploaded by Buckeye.
Just a quick post to say I am finished with the 8 ATCs I made for the Teddy Bear ATC swap on PCMB. I am liking those pastel pencils I bought. I better be....since I spent major money on them almost a year ago. I'm just now starting to use them with a Dove Blender. The Dove Blender just makes the coloring almost effortless.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Alaska ATC Swap~"Northern Lights"

Alaska ATC Swap~"Northern Lights"
Originally uploaded by Buckeye.
I'm am becoming addicted to swaps (and I haven't even received anything back yet). There's something about having a theme that gets me going. Pictured you will see the Alaska ATCs I will be sending out. Lots of playing with this one, using the concept of resist. I *had* these done about two weeks ago, but was baffled when the blue started to fade (I was using a blue from Whispers Ink). I redid them all, using Big & Juicy Pads. Guess I learned not to trust the cheapie Whispers Ink.

Anyway, on the horizon, I've got the following swaps to create for: Teddy Bear ATC, California ATC, Wild Wild West Cards, Me & My Big Ideas ATC, Salt Technique ATC, and Bookmarks. Better get busy!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Framed Bunnies

Here are the six cards I made for a swap on PCMB, "Hopping Down The Bunny Trail". The stamp is magenta. Some bunnies were colored with pastel pencils (first time I've ever used them), some by watercoloring with Tombow markers, and one with Prismacolor Pencils. What I learned from participating in this swap is how much *I* like central images that are framed. May not be the most complicated layouts, but I came to the realization that I pretty much buy stamps for the image itself, and there's nothing wrong with showcasing that image on the cards I make. You can check out close ups of my card over on my Flickr account.

June In Review, Though Late

It just dawned on me that I didn't do this for June. Better late than never, they say.

Best Day~June 30th. Yes, it took until the end of the month to actually have a good day. June 30th was the day M and I went to see Chicago in concert. It really can't be considered summer if I don't get at least on Chicago concert under my belt. It was hard actually getting to the concert. Left my house at 4:10 and didn't get to dinner (which was a mile from the concert) until 6:10. Now mind you, I live about 45 minutes away from the venue, but with the beginning of the holiday weekend and the idiotic planning that put George W. Bush in town for a fundraiser, we thought we'd never get there. But, once we finally did get there, I sat back and enjoyed Jimmy's wiggling hips. Drool.

Biggest Accomplishment~I'd say just basic survival at work. I posted a few weeks ago that I doubt I'll be working there in the future. That thought remains present, though I don't really know what else I would do. I *need* to work there this year to get football tickets and time off for traveling to the away games. And next year, I really really want to go to the Washington game, so that's going to need some time off too. Hmmm. I'll figure something out. Also, important to note that I made it back to Curves during this month.

Biggest Surprise~S calling.

Areas of Learning~I really liked hearing Katie Wood Ray talk about organization in writing. Lots to think about there. And, I've learned how much I like the look of layering and framing when I make cards.

Books Read~Slowly making my way through "The Creative License" by Danny Gregory.

Looking Ahead To July~Well, since it is already halfway over at the time of this post, let's just say I'm looking forward to some weight loss during the second half of the month.

Midnight Moonlight ATC

Midnight Moonlight ATC
Originally uploaded by Buckeye.
I made 6 of these for the "Midnight" swap over on PCMB. The mouse is by Great Impressions, the stars are by Rubber Stampede, window is just acetate and the moon is from a punch. The mouse is colored with PrismaColors. I streaked Brillance ink, direct-to-paper for the moonlight. I'm debating writing "Midnight Moonlight" in the upper corner using a white sharpie. I'm testing it on a scrap of the blue paper to see if it will hold. White Stayzon, Colorbox and Brillance gave me some pretty pathetic results. I don't know, should I write "Midnight Moonlight" in the corner? Would love your thoughts in the comments section. Anyone? Anyone?

Monday, July 10, 2006

Last Week's Weigh In Wasn't Pretty. Can You Tell?

In the field of writing (which I'm not in), they talk about showing, not telling. I'm going to attempt that right now.

This morning's weigh in...176.5. Weigh in two weeks ago...176. And I was really, really good this past week with eating and went to Curves three times.

There. How did I do? Did I "show" you how things went with my diet and exercise program from two weeks ago to the mysterious nonreported weigh in from a week ago?

Sunday, July 09, 2006

On My Mind

Trust me, this blog has been on my mind, but so have a lot of other things. Everytime I'd get close to writing something, I'd convince myself not to because I wasn't really in the sharing mood. So, I've learned that I censor what I put on here, even though I don't think anyone I know in my everyday life reads this. I guess for the past couple weeks I've been not writing because I've been censoring the blog from myself. When I reread this blog, it represents things things that I really don't mind the rest of the world knowing...a pound lost, a card made, etc. But, I haven't wanted to post about pounds gained, possible depression setting in, etc.

Allow me to catch you up, blog.

When I came back from Cincinnati on that Friday, I immediately crashed for a nap, which isn't really that unusual. I was exhausted from my week away from home. At around 9:00 pm, I was awakened by the phone. I answered only to learn it was S. Now, I know this blog doesn't know about S, but S was my summer boyfriend in 8th and 9th grade (he went to a different school), in the sense that one can even have a boyfriend at that age. What is mighty odd, is that periodically, maybe every six years, we have a phone conversation with each other. I haven't seen him since 1986, and he now lives in Florida. Well, in December 2004 he made one of those calls out of the blue and we talked for hours. (We always have great conversations, as he's very intellectual and interesting). When M and I had a major, major, "don't know if we'll ever by together again" disagreement during the spring of 2005, I initiated a call to S during June of 2005. S and I had a great conversation once again, and then "boom". I fell hard and starting imagining what a story it would be if S and I were to get back together again. Well, long story short I think my enthusiasm and unrealistic expectations scared S a bit, and we sort of parted our ways. Now, mind you, we still haven't seen one another since 1986. But, be that as it may, I was SO DEPRESSED last summer. I was so alone and would just cry myself to sleep (and sleep all the time) last summer. I was aching and just replayed my life over and over again, and wondered how can a mid-30's girl be so successful in a career but nothing else. What I really want is a family. I got back with M, because of loneliness.

For the past year, M and I have gotten along basically because I don't want to go back to that loneliness again. Life with M, is better than life without M, though I doubt we will ever marry and be a real family.

So, when S called me out of the blue a couple weeks ago, to apologize for last summer, I went right back to the place I was last summer. I started to assess my life and how pathetic it really is. I work. I work out at Curves. I stamp. I belong to a booster group at OSU that is filled with old people, and I live alone. Yeehaw! Since this is my slow season at work, I just have all day and all night to think about this stuff. I spend hours googling people in my past, from past boyfriends to high school classmates. Just to see what I can find, and compare their accomplishments, or lack thereof, to mine.

So, there you have it. I'm pathetic really. During the past two weeks, I've waited with eagar for S to contact me again, like he said he would (though never did) and became more depressed and felt myself going back into the self-pity depression. Even had a blow up with M last Sunday(though we survived it) as I was nagging him about our "situation". "Situation" being dating for 11 years, him being 42ish and still living at home with his mamma who doesn't pay him a dime for the work he does at their company, thus leaving M, a 42 year old without a freaking income. Oh, how I hate the situation, but enjoy M's companionship, because as I learned last summer, I can't function without it. I am so stuck.

Basically, over the past year, after the rejection from S, I pulled myself out of the pit, and then began to accept the M situation, and started to accept living alone, never having children, etc.

So, S's call was very untimely, just on the very day that I find myself with a month and a half of not being busy at work. I'm glad I caught myself early and after a few sleepful days and sleepless nights, I'm feeling better about me. I guess what is meant to happen with my life will. Sometimes, I guess we don't get to live our dreams...mine being happily married with children.

Whew! Sorry about all of that. But I felt I needed to get it all out. Now, I can blog again.