Wednesday, November 29, 2006


Originally uploaded by Buckeye.
I can still remember July 3, 2006. It was a summer day. I was very down, feeling as depressed as I could be about my life and how it is nothing as I had envisioned. I took it out on M, blaming him for my lack of everything. Through all of this drama, I learned or came to the realization that I am just very lonely. So tired of being alone.

Later that evening, M and I took a walk to a nearby grocery store, to buy shaving cream I believe. You know, summer...the shaving-legs every-other-day-time-of-the-year. On our walk back from the store, we came across a dachshund running loose. It was very apparent the dog was lost and scared.

The dog started following M & me. We walked around the neighborhood with the hopes the dog would recognize her house. She looked longingly up each driveway. My heart ached for her, while at the same time, fell in love with her. We eventually became comfortable enough with the dog, as she did us, for us to check her collar. There was a phone number. We called it, and rightfully returned Josie her owner.

I have not stopped thinking of that dog. Since meeting Josie, I have checked out books from the library to learn about dachshunds, and I have spent countless hours on Flickr looking at pictures of doxies, and I've surfed the internet looking at breeders, rescues, etc.

For the past six months, I've every now and then mentioned getting a dachshund to M. He never dismissed it and would entertain my yearnings. I wonder if these yearnings are the result of my loneliness? Am I missing motherhood and just want to care for something? With each passing day, these yearnings have gotten stronger, but my head has told me that I'm gone way too much to have a dog. That my parents are going to disapprove (yes, I'm in my late 30's and this is still a concern of mine). That having a dog is something I've never done and that I couldn't possibly begin to imagine the committment it entails.

But last night, my heart spoke louder than my head. It won. I found this adorbable girl, and through some actions that happened more quickly than I could have ever imagined....this sweetie you see here, Sloopy will be her name, is now my baby girl. She'll come to join me at my house on December 16. Oh my!

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